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I am sorry i haven't been very active lately in this community- but…

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I am sorry i haven't been very active lately in this community- but hey, here i am now. I am looking for advice and/or thoughts on a silly, pretty simple situation. I just started seeing this wonderful, amazing guy.. It's been a little under a month and I really want to be with just him. Of course, i still have mad attractions to girls, but just like attractions to other guys, i suppress them. He's known i am bi since before we started dating, and it hasn't been an issue at all. They other night, however, the issue of threesomes came up. I've done that before, and though fun, i think it can really screw with a relationship if it's too early, or if feelings arise (besides sexual) for that third party. He really wants to try it, because he's never done it before, but, since he's straight, it's going to most likely be a woman. I feel this puts me in a very uncomfortable spot. I would love to have sex with a woman, but i won't have more than one "significant other" at once, because i wouldn't expect them to stay monogomous if i wasn't going to, and i am very jealous. So is it too soon? is there way to seperate my feelings for him, and my attraction to her that doesn't make me feel like i am cheating? Thanks for any comments, in advance!!
Current Mood:
contemplative contemplative
Current Music:
Yes I Am- Melissa Etheridge
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On November 14th, 2005 11:54 pm (UTC), naughtyfeline commented:
I wish I could help you out here. I have never had a 3-some, so I really don't know the emotions involved in that. I think it would be sexy as hell but at what price.
Dh and I had discussed it at one time. I really looked deep within myself and told him that I could never share him. And he told me that if ever I met the right girl I could do what I needed to do. I have met the "right" woman and I am trying to work that all out.
Maybe Mermaids will have some good advice for you.
~M
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On November 27th, 2005 05:15 am (UTC), starfruit_pixie replied:
thanks! :)
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On November 15th, 2005 03:35 am (UTC), violet_rain commented:
Since you already know you're a jealous person I'd say they just won't work out. Sorry.
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On November 27th, 2005 05:17 am (UTC), starfruit_pixie replied:
i think that is pretty true. i've tried to suppress my jealousy in the past because my former boyfriend really wanted an open relationship.. and obviously its former, so the outcome wasn't that good.
i think maybe if it were a more spontaneous (perhaps slightly drunken) thing, i would be more ok with sharing him.
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On November 20th, 2005 06:40 am (UTC), mermaids_fate commented:
Hmm... I've had relationships both ways. I have to say that the threesomes can be tough emotionally if you are unprepared for the complexity. That said, there are many folks happy in threesomes, and feel it just adds to their love. I would not say I will never do it again, but I am wary. If jealousy is a big issue for either of you please start by just sharing all of your thoughts on the subject. Also finding some books that deal with bisexuality and polyfidelity. Also remember that the mythical third member will have her own belief system, priorities, needs, wants, and fears.

My question though is would this be primarily sexual, or another full relationship? I only have experience with the latter. What would you hope to gain? Do you have someone in mind? If so, how is she with the concept?
I hear from others that meeting other couples in swinging type groups can be a way to experiment, but for me that would not be safe. Those are just my opinions though.
I wish you the best of luck, and look forward to reading what you have to say. :)
~R
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On November 27th, 2005 05:15 am (UTC), starfruit_pixie replied:
i'm not really interested in another full relationship, so probably not. I would hope to gain slightly more sexual satisfaction, mostly, and i miss being touched/ the touch of a woman. I do have someone in mind, but that's the problem. I know that my feelings toward her are already more than sexual, and i haven't posed the concept to her for that reason, i know she is interested in me, but at this point, i can't handle two relationships at once. we've talked about swinging, and he's not completely comfortable with it. He's told me that he has been attracted to men before, but it is too much for him to touch one, and he's had the opportunity.
thank you so much for the advice, i really appreciate it.
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On November 29th, 2005 03:54 am (UTC), starfruit_pixie commented:
just so y'all know... it doesn't matter now anyway. it's not even 10 at night and i am drunk off my ass because the bastard broke up with me after barely over a month of fucking. yup. thanks for your awesomeness all. you're wonderful.
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